Wednesday, November 26, 2008

cigars.

i'm on a mission to complete the workloads. perrgghh banyak gile weh. ni lah jadi kalau tak buat awal2 record book.

pastu tengah2 malam mula la mintak ym id orang tu orang ni sebab nak tanya microbe la, forensic la..hehe..

pastu kan, my weight macam dah tak nak turun sangat dah. last time i checked it was 48.7kg. and body fat % pun remains at 25.1%.. kenape agaknye? nak tgk sampai january ni, ade improvement lagi tak, kalau dah takde, macam nak benti je amik HL ni.. kalau tak turun dah malas la nak amik. dah la pokai. baik simpan duit wat makan steak.

on the other hand, i noticed this one thing. whenever me and arif had a conversation about cigars and smoking, it must ended badly. i think i was at my best level chosing the right words not to sound harsh or pushing, but still i think it eventually turned him off. mesti takde mood dah nak cakap pastu. entah la.

if only he understands. if there is one thing that i would want to ask from him, it surely will be for him to stop smoking.. i failed to stop my father from doing so.. how i wish i could do that to u..

kenapa sy sgt sensitive pasal rokok? padahal kawan2 sy ramai je smoke. i grew up being friends with so many2 guys yang smoke. back then, i don't really mind.in fact, i think i never mind about it. until one day, when i was in the matriculation, i happened to get to know this one sweet girl.. sangat2 sweet.

so we got along well and all, and i came to know that she has lost her father when she was 13, following lung cancer. but that was not the turning point.

until one fine weekend, my other friend's parents came for a visit, and biasalah me and kawan2 pergi salam2 tu kan. so did this particular friend that i was telling. so okay la, dah salam2, we were kinda talking with the parents, and tiba2 je she ran upstairs..

being curious and caring, we followed to her room, finding she was sobbing on her bed...awhile later, i think she was ready enough to tell what was going on.. and she went like,

"korang, kite rindu ayah kite."

ok so our guess was right. she was so touched seeing my other friend with her parents.
then, she continued,

"korang, kalau ayah korang hisap rokok, please la suruh diorang stop, kalau boleh paksa, paksa la diorang, jangan bagi diorang hisap rokok lagi. kalau nanti dah jadi mcm ayah kite, dah takleh wat pape dah."

tuhan je tahu how i felt that time. mcm nak je call abah right away, but i just didn't know how to tell him, what to say and all.

few weeks later, i got out of the matriculation, and went back home. but i could not find a perfect time to talk to abah about it, until this one time, when me, abah, umi and brother in law, were having a dinner, and somehow the conversation was brought up and i told him the story about my friend and everything, and i dengan berjayanya cried at the table over the dinner. hehe pastu malu gile kot since my brother in law was there. lepas tu sumpah taknak dah cakap emo2 pasal smoking ke ape ke. i can get emotional easily when it comes to this issue.

so bukannya sy tak suka orang smoking sebab konon-budak-medic-mestila-tak-suka-orang-hisap-rokok..no no.. it is a konflik dalaman waaaayyy before i stepped into this path.

so arif, no i was not being pushy, but i just couldn't find the right words to convey this to u, the same way i couldn't do it with abah..

6 comments:

Fefey said...

i read slightly ur entri--about guys and quitting smoke.huh! takde guna pun nasehat.mereka tak kan dgr. lagi ko tak suka lagi diorang buat ....baik ko galak kan je,sampai masa,berenti la tu

Awa Laaaa~~ said...

hehe~
sabor ye cik elida..
jgn berputus asa utk menyeri manusia2 itu utk benti merokok!
oyeh oyeh!!

ps:nasib my HIM tak smoking...

ila ni said...

lama x update? mana mg?jgn kata tlibat nga mumbai terrorist...

NoorAmani's Diary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
elida hanan. said...

mcla, hahahaha. ado lagi duk bersembunyi ni.haha..

comey_lote said...

if my 'HE' could understand too ... :-(

 
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