Friday, November 14, 2008

ini entry emo.

i am now going through a rough patch. with my studies and my personal life. i know i shouldn't be mixing and juggling up everything together, but this personal problem that i am having somehow affects my life so much.

i can't stop thinking about it. yeah, again, i know i shouldn't be, but being me, i can't just live my life happily, knowing the fact that people are badmouthing about me.

i wonder, where did some people earn their nerve to go to you, and complaining this and that about u, without even a slice of guilty or sympathy. is it never occur to you that i am also a typical human being, with feelings that can easily hurt? i would never do that to anyone. u do not even know me, in fact we never meet, so how can u judge me with so little u know about me? ok nak cakap kasar sikit, hey fugly perempuan, kau dengar cerita dari mulut orang yang sah2 benci aku *or at least takleh nak get over me and move on with his f***ing life*, pastu kau nak kutuk2 aku apehal? ade aku kacau kau?? aku tak pernah kenal kau, yang kau kecoh2 datang kutuk aku apehal? ape kau dapat? kau tau ape aku rasa? aku rasa kau ni adalah perempuan tua yang tak laku, pastu aku tau kau mesti suka kat dia sebenarnye, pastu aku tau die pun mesti taknak kat kau, pastu kau dengar cerita dia, kau konon2 tunjuk yang kau simpati kat dia, pastu kau pun bengang nak mati lah ngan aku kan, sebab konon2 nye aku ni lah yang jahat, *ye aku jahat, sbb aku yang tinggalkan dia, tapi ade kau tanya dia sbb ape aku tinggal dia?* tapi kalau kau tanya pun, mesti die ckp aku jgk yang jahat kan. tapi ape aku peduli. yang penting aku tak jadi bodoh macam die, mak bapak aku bahagia, dan aku pun bahagia. bukannya kekurangan kasih sayang macam kau.

kalau pun aku ni jahat, kalau pun aku ni berlakon je jadi baik, siapa kau nak judge aku? walaupun kau kerja kat mahkamah syariah ke, ape2 mahkamah pun ke, that doesn't give u the right to judge me. tu semua adalah between aku dgn Allah. seriously aku tak faham dgn kau. ape yang aku tau, kau memang bodoh. kau carik pasal ngan aku, kutuk2 aku depan2 aku, pastu bila aku diam, kau kata aku perasan yang kau nak korek cerita aku. kau tak rasa betapa bodohnya kau di situ?

one word to describe u, PATHETIC!

so tell me, kau puas hati dah dapat kutuk aku, ugut aku, kacau hidup aku? sbb terus terang aku cakap, aku memang dah affected gile lepas kau msg aku. tu je yang kau nak kan? so, BACK OFF now!

aku adalah sangat bengang sekarang. aku pun tak tau kau baca ke tak blog aku sebenarnye, tp aku pandai2 je la assume yang kau baca, sbb kau kan nak sangat cari modal nak kutuk aku, memandangkan kau dah takleh nak view friendster aku, nak msg aku pun dah tak boleh, aku nak tengok ade tak reply dari kau kat sini. kalau ada, sah kau memang takde keje campur bodoh tahap gaban.

ok dah. bukan senang nak suruh aku cakap kasar macam ni.

ni kalau arif baca rasa2 kena marah ke?

ok lah. sape2 yang tak tau pasal sape sy bengang2 ni, jangan tanya. termasuk adik beradik saya yang disayangi sekalian. tak payah tanya ape2.

anyhow...i'm so thankful that i have tons of friends who are always there for me, noticed my unwellness, and listened to me when i was meleleh with air mata and hingus dalam kelas tanpa malu kat orang lain.to neela, fara, yulie, tini, aha and anis, i couldn't say this better, u guys are great friends. being surrounded with these cheerful chirpy people really made my day and for a moment i forgot how cruel the outside world is.sayang korang ok. blushing blushing.haha.

and to arif, u are the most wonderful guy i've ever met, and to know u is a bliss. word fails me to tell you how grateful i am, but you never failed to let me feel loved by you.

till then, mwax!

4 comments:

nadhirah mohd shakri said...

hoho...byk je fugly slut cmtu~..
*turut bengang*

iNtan sYaznEe said...

lain kali *slapbutt* her bontot kuat2 sbb suko ngato ko elida.ehe.

The Spiral Eyes said...

sila tampo beliau nam juta kali

elida hanan. said...

haha.terima kaseh kawan2.

 
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